Shopaholic

Lately has been weird, and lately has been hard.

My mind has been going 100mph at all times for the last few weeks.

I am constantly thinking of current situations.

That is so exhausting.

So here is what I have been doing...

online shopping.

Ohhhhh crap.

It's happening again. I have been sucked in by the simplicity of shopping for clothes that I can buy while watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and sitting in my pajama pants while eating soup. The BEST kind of shopping. There is so much good in this; no getting into a cold car, no wasting gas, no having to wear a bra. But here's the thing I seem to forget.. I am still in fact spending money. 

But when I get to hide behind my computer screen and no one has to see how much I spent, it's like it never happened. I start to get this feeling like I am having an out of body. It's like there is a little voice in my head softly saying "just press continue, that doesn't mean it's permanent" so I press. Then she whispers (she is a she because she is my female shopaholic, and I think it's my own voice, that's why she is a she,) "Oh, just in case, enter your card number. Just in case." So I do. "Don't forget the CRV code. Juuuust in case." I start to blackout as my information has been entered. I feel as though I have slipped into a coma where I am aware of my place but I am not control of what is happening around me. The next thing I know I see "Thank you for your order!" And 'the voice' is gone. She has run away and only to return when I open my laptop next. 

So anyway... that's weird.

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SOMETHING I AM ALL ABOUT:

treat yo' self

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   The bottom line is that times get rough, and your brain can do mysterious things. It can spiral a little out of control, and make you consume yourself in thoughts that only make you upset. This is normal, and we all get sad. So do the things that make you smile. Just do them. Obviously I am not promoting self destruction, because they may please you in that moment and later make you feel a little emptier, so not that. But go sit in your favorite place with your favorite book. Go watch your favorite movie while eating your favorite dessert. It seems exhausting even thinking anymore... so try your very best to think of the things you like, and not the ones that cause tears to form in your eyes.

You are worth the world, and I like you quite a lot.

Those thoughts in your head don't define you.

And the things or people that put them there especially don't.