Friends

About a week ago (week ago) I was thinking about how I was feeling around this time my senior year of high school. I remember that a lot of my friendships were taking new forms. Some were fizzling away, and other were growing that were incredibly unexpected. I also remember having a deep fear about my relationships with people changing when we all left for college. Some of us in Seattle, Bellingham, Oregon, Montana, Spokane, some of us in the Navy... and that fear was absolutely realized when college started. My friendships did change, because our lives changed.

Just until recently in my life, I always associated change with something negative. I didn't like change, nor did I want it to be necessary, but I always knew it was. The idea that the relationships I had harbored with people, and worked so hard to maintain and to value were going change didn't sit well with me. And the truth is that they all did. Every single one.

Some fizzled away. Some were very clearly convenience friends. And while I still respect the time I had with those, I see that effort was never really part of it. That can be sad. Because it's yet another thing that reminds us that life is so different than we thought it was. And that when push comes to shove, we might be very different than we thought we were. That is petrifying.

But as I said earlier, I used to associate change with something negative. And as life has happened outside the small world of high school it has opened my eyes to how wrong my view was. Every friendship has changed, and some have blossomed into the most beautiful of relationships. Some of my acquaintances from high school are some of my best friends. And the best friends who were best friends in high school have become my partners. They have become the people who we share love that is far greater than just sharing a routine. These are the ones you have to work hard for, when before we thought we were working hard at a relationship when we had the privilege of sharing the same schedule and enjoying our by-chance coexistence. Valuing and being valued are what make up the relationships that are worth it. That you gain from. That build you up.

So this is for those of you who are about to graduate high school, and you are nervous about leaving those you love; if you want to maintain the relationship with them, you will. And I urge you to remember that people are the very things in life we can't replace, and they are essential.