11/6/14

In times like today, we must realize that no one wins. 

This is no competition.

Because at the end of the day, there are many victims. Many saddened. And many changed.

Today isn't about bashing anyone on any side. 

Because neither side is "winning".

I am a woman who wants to work with sexual abuse victims for a living. I want to reach out to the grotesquely large number of individuals who have suffered such hardships. I want to help them see they aren't alone and they aren't to blame.

I am also a woman who has had a great deal of respect for a man I believed to be "one of the good ones". It is a huge shock to my system to hear of news that changes that ideal. It saddens me beyond measure, and brings me to a place where I am at a complete loss for thought, let alone words.

But I do know this...
This quote "Okay if this kid got drunk and was molested the second time it happened he should've been like wow I should really find a ride home or try not to be around him. It happened again this kid should tell someone and not jangout with him again. A third offense? Like this kid was obviously not thinking to much" is why our society has been doing so many things wrong. Where in this paragraph do you see any responsibility in the person who was attacking? Where in this statement do you see justice for anyone? Where in these measly sentences do you see fairness? I see it no where. Remove the fact that our "perpetrator" in this instance is someone we all know. Pretend this boy was your brother... does it matter that he was drunk or does it matter that he was abused?

And yet, in the same breath, I want to say that especially at this time, with very little knowledge, it isn't helping to say the disrespectful things about a man who we know little to nothing about in regards to this. My reason for this is not to defend anyone. It's not to sugarcoat the accusations. It's because more negativity in such a painfully negative times only feeds more negativity. Only makes this harder on everyone. Only creates a bigger monster.

Be careful using your words as swords. No words can take away the victims. Oh, how I wish that's how it worked. But words can victimize more, hurt more, scar more. While you may not have empathy for this man, have empathy for his kids who see you speaking about killing their dad. Have empathy for his best friends, who's lives they trusted him with.

This is a dark time for many, and a sad time for those who love Ferris. 

I wish for peace to those directly affected.

This is the kind of thing no one should face, and yet too many do.