For Those Who Give A Damn

Well, hello there. Once again, it's almost been a whole year since I blogged last. I don't know why this cycle keeps happening. I get caught in the jumble of life and forget to take one moment to actually catch up with it. So, I am trying to be better about that. You should be too! It really is quite a relief to blog. It's like typing my thoughts makes them real, and that's something, for sure.

To start back on a happy note, today was a textbook "Perfect Day". It was a day that the sun was loud and proud, and hot. It had my friends sitting at a table across from me; happy, healthy, and optimistic about their futures and mine. It had cold beer. It had way too many fries, and borderline "danger-zone" ranch dressing. I was completely and utterly full in a time that a lot doesn't seem to feel just that.

This day came at a perfect time in my imperfect life. 

It allowed me to not hear the voices in my head...... Not the schizophrenic type voices... the voice is mine. 

Anyway, it says: 

• what are you doing with your life?
• why did you just spend more money on pants that look painfully like the other pants you have?
• why haven't you gotten your all-season tires off yet?
• why did you wake up 20 minutes before you left for work, leaving you looking like shit?
• why don't you care that you look like shit?
• why haven't you cleaned your room?
• why did you cry just then?
• why are your hormones so off the charts?

You know, the usual stuff.
Nothing debilitating, but definitely discouraging. We tend (me at least, for sure) to have a way of reminding ourselves when things are feeling okay why you maybe shouldn't feel that way. That moment when you feel surprisingly bright and are suddenly shaken by the feeling that you're forgetting about something unpleasant and.........yep, there it is. Well, that's insanely unfair. Because HELL NO is everything ever going to feel totally perfect.

So, I chose to completely dive in to days like today. Have that second beer with your friend because right now is so very right. And forget about those voices in your head, they're kinda creepy anyway.