Today

 There are so many words sprinting as fast as they can through my brain today. Sprinting for their lives with panic and riddled with "no way, no way, no way...". None of these words have been able to form a full sentence that demonstrates just how I feel, in an accurate and articulate manner. So I am going to break this up by category. One by one.

I have never had to defend the love I didn't chose to have for someone. 

I've never known the struggle of a constant criticism for loving a person because of the chromosomes they have. I have never known the looks of disgust while I kiss the person I love. I've never known the grueling feeling of being watched and judged while the one I love has their hand clasped in mine. But so many of you know that feeling. So many of my very favorite human beings know this feeling. It is undeserved. It is unwarranted. It is inhumane. 

I wish I could be celebrating with you today that you will have a leader who will protect your rights, your names, and your love... but we didn't wake up to that today. We woke up to something frightening. You woke up to the questions (and fear that comes with those questions) about what this means for you. 

However, I am honoring the things I believe and stand strongly by when I say that I will not allow the people around us to do this to you. I will not stand by when you are being wronged. I will not be quiet. You will not be alone.

I am a nasty woman.

It's a scary day to be one. I am afraid of what our new President expects of me. What he wants for me. What he will do to me, or the woman he's already done inexcusable things to. But a "nasty woman" I will continue to be, loudly. I will scream for you, for her, for us. I will be as nasty as my God given body lets me be. The nasty woman my nasty mother so bravely raised me to be. The nasty woman my best friends need me to be. The nasty woman my sister is. The nasty woman all these nasty women deserve to have by their side.

We are strong, brave, capable women. 

And nasty we will be.

I am politically correct.

And it blows my nasty-ass mind that anyone can use that against me, in a way you think is insulting. HA! Thank you, to everyone who doesn't see how your words crush people, for giving me the compliment of your disapproval. I will happily be rejected by you, criticized by you, and rise above you forever. My hope is that you hear me, and you hear yourself. We can't be a nation of people wearing shirts that say "Hillary sucks, but not like Monica." Or yelling "Build that wall". We cannot be. Your words are shots that fire and crumble a strong nation. Aim your words in a progressive way, in a helpful way. Do not be the bullies who push people in the ground. Dig people out.

I am not a man.

And if I were, I would have the power.

Use this power well.

Speak for all the women you love, who love other women. 

For all the men you love, who love other men.

For every nasty woman you love who continues to be silenced. 

For every person who is put down by the childish words that spill out of the mouths of those who know better.

Speak.

Please speak.

I am sad today, with all of you.

 I am with all of you.

This Is Important

Let's be real. 

For my peers and I this is the most important election we have ever had a voice in. 

This might be the most important election anyone has had a voice in. 

Lets talk about that "voice".

You have one.

Most of you have a loud one.

Our generation is very known for our loud, opinionated voices.

So, if you choose to vote or choose not to vote, you are still going to have that voice, and we both know that. But guess what, the choice to go voiceless is your own, however, you won't. You won't choose to swallow your opinions, and silence your ideas. We are living in a time that we are absolutely training ourselves and everyone else not to do that. I am excited to be living in that time. With that being said, the standard is that if you don't vote you don't get to have an opinion. But you just WILL.

Please vote.
Just pleeeeease...vote.
Your voice is loud.
Aim it somewhere.

10 Things To Stop Saying To Your Barista

Being in the service industry has its ups and downs. The ups include meeting amazing people that we wouldn't have had an opportunity to meet any other way. The downs, are meeting the not so pleasant people we wouldn't have had to meet any other way.

I have been slingin' coffee in Spokane for the better half of the last 5 years... not only does that include an obscene amount of milk for someone who is lactose intolerant, but it also includes a large amount of conversations, laughter, and conflict.

This post is being written to try and help eliminate that "conflict" section. 

I'm sure you aren't aware that what you are saying is offensive.

Or crazy.

Or frustrating.

Or just... super weird.

But if you avoid these 10 things, you might have better luck with your barista.

1. "You look tired!"

What do you want us to do with that? It's the socially acceptable way of saying "you have most definitely looked better." Well, you look pretty rude but you don't see me saying that...

2. "Do you know how to make a _____?"

Okay, so... if I make coffee, that generally means that I know how to make coffee. So, yes. Yes, I do know what a mocha is. Do you know how to drive that car you are currently driving?

3. "I'll have an iced cappuccino."

No you won't. That's not real.

4. "Oh, she knows my drink."
Alright... alright.... "she" only knows your drink because at one point in time you told her what the damn thing is! Use your words.

5. "...I would text you, but I don't have your number."
If we don't instantly give you our numbers after you make this comment, we don't want to give it to you. And you can say it again if you really want to... but we heard you... it's not happening.

6. "Are you new?"
Nope, you are actually. I work here, and I have seen you... never.

7. "How many shots of expresso are in that?"
.....no shots of "expresso" are in any of our drinks, because that isn't a WORD.

8. "I know you're almost done, but did I say soy?"
Nope................... you didn't.

9. "Are you even old enough to work here?"
Again, you clearly know the answer since I work here, so where is this going?

10. "Surprise me."
The only time this is perfectly acceptable is if you truly have no reserves about a single thing. That almost never happens, however. This usually turns into 'but I don't like coconut, vanilla, irish cream, chocolate, white chocolate, coffee, red bull, juice, oranges, apples, board games..."

Listen, we love you guys.

We can make this work. 

But, this is a two-way street...

        

Calling BS

So, let's address it. Let's talk about Brock Turner.

I have tried pretty hard not to post anything about this in the last few days. Only because it would come out in an immature rage. I would have FOR SURE made fun of the fact that his mom said he could no longer enjoy his snacks. Said something like "so sorry your precious cheese-its don't taste as good, go ahead, don't worry about the girl who is now afraid to sleep at night." For sure I would have said that in my 8,004 days on this earth, it is by far the craziest thing I have ever heard. I also probably would have used words like "piece of shit" or "sad excuse for a human life", so I decided to wait a few days to cool down. To, you know, avoid saying any of those petty things...

I know that you all know the details of this case, so I don't need to go into them.

This post is about this bigger picture.

The blatant ignorance of people.

And how I call BULLSHIT.

When talking to a friend, she said "Why do some people get it and some people just totally don't?" And it's so true. However, I believe it's more... some people get it and some people just totally pretend not to. 

Because we get it. 

We know what YES means. 

We know what NO means.

We know what NOTHING means.

If you asked your mom if you could spend the night at a friends house, and she said yes, lucky you, that meant you could go. And we get that...

If she said no, damn, better luck next time. And we get that...

If she said nothing, had yet to answer, you didn't just go anyway. You had to wait for the very distinct yes. And we get that...

Specifically, Brock Turner claims to have misunderstood the nothing part of this puzzle.

If you applied for a loan to buy a house, and had yet to hear if the bank approved it, do you get to just move in because, well, you want to? 

Oh, that's CLEARLY crazy? Right, and we get that...

However, we don't quuuuuite seem to apply this to our savage-like sexual instincts.

So, spare me with this "we didn't know any better" bullshit.

You do.

You know you can't just take what you want without permission.

You just do know that.

But one way of thinking, benefits you and your pubescent idea of hormones, and the other makes you a monster.

 I can imagine why you chose the first option, but have no fear, we know that option isn't the accurate one.

Either own up to understanding the basic rules of life, or let us all know you are just plain senseless.

I'm Just Wondering...

I've always been told that I ask a lot of questions. About everything. I have done that for as long as I can remember. 

I wonder a lot.

But I mostly wonder why people don't wonder.

I don't know about you, but I want to know all the nitty-gritty things about the people I love. 

Their first crush.

Their happiest memory.

The first kid they ever wanted to punch.

Their favorite beer.

Why their ex was crazy.

What makes them cry.

Their most embarrassing moment.

The first time they puked from drinking.

Why they hate that guy.

You get it.

The reason for this is because, what are we if not our experiences and our thoughts?

Knowing someone means you understand them, and understanding them means you know what instance or what person made them come to the conclusions they have about life.

A best friend knows what triggers you. 

When someone brings up that topic that you know stirs some shit up, your people are they ones who redirect the conversation to spare your feelings, without having to be told to.

Or the boyfriend who plans your perfect day because he's heard about your other favorite days.

I wonder why we aren't wondering more. 

Sometimes it uncomfortable. 

Sometimes is hard to talk about things.

But it's also so beautiful and so wonderful to fully know and fully be known.

And hey you, the one who won't let those who love you understand all the things they love about you... you're missing out on the best things life has to offer. Accept the love.

So, here's to tomorrow, and a life full of wonder!

What Drinking With Your Friends Will Tell You

We've all been in drinking situations with friends or acquaintances in public. We know what that means. It can sometimes be unreasonably fun; dancing, laughing, singing...
And other times it can unleash our darkest inner hell; fighting, crying, yelling...

We know what the stereotypical drinking personalities are:

The Crier - that friend who takes a couple shots and cries about everything that's ever been wrong in their lives. Or because their happy. Or because that person just looked at them weird. Or because they accidentally racked up a $100 drink tab. Or because you didn't ask them why their crying. So anyway, this person cries... a lot. For no reason, mostly.

The Aggressor - the friend who yells "LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE" because you said "Please don't bump me". Or because you said "Excuse me". Or because he looked at her wrong. Or because she didn't want to dance with you. Or because your waitress said you were cut off. This person finds ways to create a problem. Create one from thin air if they must, because shit is going down.

The Laugher - this person drinks and makes it seem like they've never had a better time in their life. This person is who you want to drink with. This is who the Crier and the Aggressor wish they were. And unfortunately, are sometimes the target because both the Crier and the Aggressor are pissed that the Laugher can't be bothered by their problems.

The Dancer - this person busts a move to every and any song that can be audibly heard. They often bust moves they don't have.

The Kisser - this person is very touchy-feely with people they may not usually be with. They kiss those who have lips. Those who speak. Those who exist.

The Verbal Assaulter - this person has similar characteristics to the Aggressor, but won't actually hurt or touch anyone. This is the person who threatens to pull your hair and yells "Run, bitch" as you are leaving the bar. This person is too frequent, and the reason most of you aren't at a bar tonight. Or the reason you haven't called that friend you're thinking of in quite some time.

The Slurrer - this person loses all capability of speaking their native language. Bye bye to all words.

The Blackout - this person drinks to excess every time alcohol enters their system, and always ends the night with a sketchy ride home, a sickness in the street, or a forceful removal from a public place. These people start each following day with "what happened last night" and usually have some explaining to do, and apologies to hand out.

Now, what this tells us is who of our friends need a stern-talking to or a total cut out, and who of them are worth the call Friday night.

If you read this and couldn't think of any friends who fit the negative stereotypes, then you are just extremely lucky.

PSYCH!

It's you.

For Those Who Give A Damn

Well, hello there. Once again, it's almost been a whole year since I blogged last. I don't know why this cycle keeps happening. I get caught in the jumble of life and forget to take one moment to actually catch up with it. So, I am trying to be better about that. You should be too! It really is quite a relief to blog. It's like typing my thoughts makes them real, and that's something, for sure.

To start back on a happy note, today was a textbook "Perfect Day". It was a day that the sun was loud and proud, and hot. It had my friends sitting at a table across from me; happy, healthy, and optimistic about their futures and mine. It had cold beer. It had way too many fries, and borderline "danger-zone" ranch dressing. I was completely and utterly full in a time that a lot doesn't seem to feel just that.

This day came at a perfect time in my imperfect life. 

It allowed me to not hear the voices in my head...... Not the schizophrenic type voices... the voice is mine. 

Anyway, it says: 

• what are you doing with your life?
• why did you just spend more money on pants that look painfully like the other pants you have?
• why haven't you gotten your all-season tires off yet?
• why did you wake up 20 minutes before you left for work, leaving you looking like shit?
• why don't you care that you look like shit?
• why haven't you cleaned your room?
• why did you cry just then?
• why are your hormones so off the charts?

You know, the usual stuff.
Nothing debilitating, but definitely discouraging. We tend (me at least, for sure) to have a way of reminding ourselves when things are feeling okay why you maybe shouldn't feel that way. That moment when you feel surprisingly bright and are suddenly shaken by the feeling that you're forgetting about something unpleasant and.........yep, there it is. Well, that's insanely unfair. Because HELL NO is everything ever going to feel totally perfect.

So, I chose to completely dive in to days like today. Have that second beer with your friend because right now is so very right. And forget about those voices in your head, they're kinda creepy anyway.